Stuck in the Tub

A woman who I know, has mental health issues. Serious mental health issues. Her husband is one of those men who seems pretty intelligent when you first meet him. After a few minutes of conversation, you realize that he has mental health issues of his own. Both the woman and man are having back problems. We found this out and tried to take food to them. She refused the food and said they didn't need it. What we didn't know is that she has gone off her medication and is not coherent! I received an email from the neighbor who got the info from papers lying in their house. Evidently one night this week, the neighbor found her out on the lawn, sitting under a tree, at 11pm. He didn't do anything about it at first. And then at midnight another neighbor called and said she was out there screaming! He went out and got her into her house. Her husband, because he can hardly walk, was unable to handle her. The next morning, the neighbor checked and found her on the front porch. She had fallen and couldn't get up. The husband wasn't able to get her in the house. The neighbor gets her in the house but can't get her to stop pacing. So the neighbor emailed me to see if we could get some people in to help them. He tried to get them to call their son who lives out of town and they refused to call and refused to give him the phone number.

So I start calling to get some help in and assess the situation. I have to get some office work done immediately and can't go myself. I'm hoping that we can get the son's phone number. A friend went over there and helped get her calmed down. She was pacing and hadn't slept for 2 days. My friend convinced the husband to call the son. "Yea!" we think. The neighbor goes over there that evening. His wife and mother-in-law start cleaning the house. The woman is nowhere to be seen. The neighbor asks about her. The husband first says she's sleeping and then later says she's in the bathtub. The neighbor is there when the son calls but the husband doesn't let him hear the conversation. We suspect that he is downplaying the whole situation to the son. The neighbor manages to give the husband his phone number and is able to get the son's phone no.

The next day, I talk with the neighbor on the phone. He's concerned because he hasn't see the woman and the husband's answers were conflicting. I tell him I'll call the son. I also tell him that if he sees the woman out at night, confused, he just needs to call me and I'll call the authorities since he has to live next door to them. We're all concerned that she isn't safe because the husband can't physically get around to keep her safe, and she is totally confused.

I call the son. I tell him the events of the week so far. He says he is coming up this weekend to straighten things out. (By now it's Thurs am) He says he has an immediate need, though. His father has just called him and he can't convince his father to call anyone for help. His mother is stuck in the bathtub and has been there since last night! His father can't get her out, so he's drained the bathtub and is bringing her food in the tub. The father is now going to get a ladder and try to get her out with the ladder! Who's confused??? (How the father is going to get a ladder into the bathroom and is unable to lift her, is beyond me. ) I recruit two other women to go over there with me to get her out of the tub. One of them is a nurse since I am concerned about the woman's health at this point.
We drive over there and when we arrive there is a fire truck in front of the house. An ambulance pulls up. They are getting her out of the tub and taking her to the hospital. They say she has dimentia. I explain that it's not dimentia and they need to find out what medicine she's supposed to be taking because she needs to be admitted to a psych unit. They pretend I'm an idiot and I leave. IT WAS EARLY LAST EVENING SINCE SHE GOT INTO THE BATHTUB. IT IS NOW AROUND 2p.m.!!!! IT'S BEEN AROUND 19 HOURS SINCE SHE GOT STUCK. THE HUSBAND IS JUST NOW CALLING FOR HELP!!!!!

I go to the hospital to see her later that evening. She is still in the ER. She is still very confused. I think that I will sit with her and help keep her calm. She keeps telling me to go get her hearing aids on the table next to the green checkbook. She becomes more and more agitated. I decide I'm making matters worse and leave. I give the ER staff the son's phone number. Let them handle it. If they're going to admit her to a regular room and not a psych facility, that's their problem. I call the son. He says he doesn't know if he'll come up then or the next day! I tell him he needs to come as soon as possible! He repeats that he isn't sure when he's coming. I'm done with these people!

Oh, and one more thing. The day the neighbor found her on the porch, the husband said he needed to hurry because he had a physical therapy appointment! The neighbor convinces him that he can't leave his wife right now and needs to cancel the appt. When the neighbor tells me this, I ask how the husband is getting to PT. The neighbor says that he drives himself. At which point I gasp! The husband is legally blind!!!! Look out!!!!! Stay off the streets!!!!!