Not Ready to Face Today

I'm living in denial right this very minute. Not ready to face the day ahead. More of the ex calling to complain, I'm sure. More death to face. That's the real issue. More death, more loss. How do you prepare yourself for that? I'm tired. I'm weak. I've lost more than I can write about this month and I just want to crawl back into my bed and go to sleep. But even in my dreams, loss haunts me. I look at my child who slept on the floor next to my bed last night. He's wrapped like a cocoon in his homemade quilt. He's not ready to face the day either. I let him sleep. There has to be some advantage to being a child who's been through great pain. I am so proud of him. He has looked death and loss in the face and cried his way through it. May no chauvinist jerk teach him to do otherwise! He faced it with grace, gratitude and honesty. "Have a happy afterlife," he wrote! That's about the best blessing I have ever heard in my life! Thoughts of him strengthen me for the day. Perhaps I can face it after all.