Labels

I've been wondering about labels lately. Why do we feel a need to label things. "This is good." "This is bad." "This is right." "This is wrong." Our need to label events in our lives seems to be a need to gain some kind of control over them. Like a label gives us a handle to hang on to when things feel or seem crazy. A friend of mine has been very disappointing lately. She hasn't been in touch, or asked for support with some things that are challenging in her life. She hasn't been supportive or caring about what's going on in my life either. I've been wondering whether to call her, "my friend," now. I don't think of her as a friend anymore, and it appears she doesn't think of me as a friend either. It's so odd to lose a good friend for some unknown reason, with no "goodbye," or anything. I feel like I need to label our relationship, but I have no labels. I feel like I need to label the downfall of our friendship, but I have no labels for that either. It seems so odd! Wish I had the words to put with it all.

Wish I had the words to put with my pending divorce. Is it good? Is it bad? How do I relate it to my faith? What's God think of it? I never thought I'd be divorced. I've given other people advice to get one. I've never really judged anyone for getting a divorce, but here I am, realizing that I stayed in my marriage because it didn't seem bad enough to justify a divorce. I couldn't put a label on it that fit my criteria for a justifiable divorce. Even now, I'm certain that this is what we need to do for both of us to live a better life. I'm just not sure how to label it. Is it "good?" Is it "bad?" Does it need to be one or the other? Do I really need to label it?

I guess the big question for me is, "What does God think about all of this?" At times I think it's God who's leading us in this direction. But that seems so "wrong." It doesn't fit with my understanding of God. Maybe that's the problem, I'm trying to put a label on God, so I can have a handle to hold onto, make God managable, containable, controllable. Hmmm. I've been telling people for years not to try to do that. God isn't containable, controllable, managable. At the same time I have this great need to understand God's perspective on this divorce. I sit each day for at least an hour, trying to hear some words from God. God is silent. There are no words. There are no labels. No handle to carry this mountain of change.