Loving Ourselves

Been thinking about loving myself lately. It's a strange task. Most of us are able to, or not able to, based on our childhood. "Love yourself," my faith tradition says. "Love yourself," I say to others. I don't. It's become a strange realization that I just don't love myself. I mean to say that I think I do... with my head. Just don't feel it with the rest of me. It hit me like a rock on the head one day. A friend asked me, "You do believe you're lovable don't you? You believe that God loves you, don't you?" I've been chewing on those questions for weeks. I've realized that I don't really feel loved or not loved. I don't really feel like I love myself or I don't love myself. I am truly a product of my English/Scottish ancestry. I believe in myself. I have confidence in myself, (much of the time) based on earning respect. It's not supposed to be that way, I know. I can't earn my love or God's love. It just has to be. How do you work on that? To work on it means, I'm back to earning it!