Sadness

The sadness of my life crept into my soul again today. I didn't hear it or see it coming...again. You'd think I'd learn to look over my shoulder. Of course I kind of was this morning and wondered why I wasn't sad then. Now it has come to keep me company. I keep thinking, "If I could just get off my ass and accomplish something, I'd feel better." And then I sit... and think... and cry. Damn! It takes every ounce of energy just to exist. A woman I know said today that she doesn't go to movies anymore since her husband died because she gets cold. She can't sit through a movie without an arm around her shoulder. What a sweet image I have of them together in the theater. And I think, "I never had that. I want that! Someone who cares enough to snuggle in a movie! And maybe I won't ever have it." Life is just too hard sometimes.