The $%^& is hitting the fan at my house!

Well, there have been some interesting turns of events at my house today. We have been heading toward crisis with the two older boys and the crisis is here! Trying to stay calm and make some hard choices. Someone may have to move out and/or go to rehab. Need to do my research tonight and make some decision. I have decided for sure that there will be no drug use in my home and I am sticking with that decision. Had enough of that. So now I need to find out my options and stay strong. The boys' therapist told me today that I will have to make "Sophie's Choice." I'm not sure I'm strong enough to do that. At the same time, things can't continue as they are. Right now I am guaranteed that everyone will lose if things continue. At least if I make those hard decisions I may save some. Too bad the ex is also a user and still using. Found that out today. He will not get another dime from me! I may have to make some hard line decisions about visitation with him also! AAAAAhhhhhh! It is so hard to clean up after 20 years of shit! It feels like it's going to take forever! And maybe it will. I wish I could take those years back. One thing I have learned from this is that ignoring a problem doesn't ever solve it. Pretending that my ex was not using drugs did not do anything but tell my kids that that was okay. Pretending because I was afraid to push the issues.... pretending because I was afraid... was the worst thing I could have done. I am trying not to let fear intimidate me any more! I hope I can grow into that statement.