Chaos of My Life

I feel like I am living in hell. Or like I am in a Twilight Zone and can't get out. Would everyone please turn off your TV's and maybe that will break the spell? The hardest part of all of this is my conflicted feelings about everyone and every situation. My sister is here and I can't even talk about my situation with Greg, with her. My child needs a place to stay and he won't stay with me because he's so angry and hateful toward me. My ex is playing the pity card to the max. and I really don't want to be around him. At least I don't feel obligated to go care for him now that he is a bit stable and coherent. My sister will do that. Isn't it ironic that his family hates me and they are not rushing to his bedside, but my sister and I have been? Isn't it ironic that his family hasn't decided what to do about his situation, but my sister and husband hopped in the car and drove here immediately? In many ways I feel sorry for my ex just because he comes from such a crappy family. He's never received what he should from them. But then I remember that neither did I receive what I should have from my family or from him. Life is soooo sooooo messy! We are all indeed, "Bozos on the bus."

I feel good about the fact that I don't feel responsible for my ex. He needed someone to advocate for him in a very terrible hospital for a couple of days. I helped then, but I am not feeling like I need to care for him. At least I have learned something through all this experience. Now if lightning would strike and tell me what to do about my middle child, I'd appreciate it.