Don't Hurt My Kids!

We had a crisis in my home tonight. My youngest was doing his homework and mentioned something about other kids making fun of him, then he ran from the room, slammed his door and I heard the sobs coming down the hall. He tells me that some kids at school saw his Sponge Bob boxers and they've been making fun of him because of it! I started asking him why they are saying these things since high school kids and adults watch Sponge Bob. He told me that half the kids at his school think he's a nerd and a dork and a few other words I won't mention here! I am shocked! My child? My sweet child? My handsome child? My cool child? My fun child? Who can think of anything negative to say about him? I can't even imagine that everyone in his class doesn't compete to be his friend! It's all so unfair! He's so wonderful! My kids say that I'm clueless. When it comes to someone thinking ill of my children, I guess I am. I can criticize them but don't anybody else dare!

I spent some time just listening and asking questions tonight. My heart ached for him. I wanted to pick him up and cuddle him. Of course that would only prove that the kids are right! No touching from mom allowed under these circumstances. Finally, after talking, crying, and a snack, I was allowed to give him a hug and a kiss. I love this kid. He's terrific! Why are kids so cruel?

Putting Things in Order

I guess I am trying to put my life in order by putting my house in order. Finally cleaned the carpets. The hard surfaces get scrubbed tonight. It feels good to work on putting things in order. It's helping me see where I've been letting things go. For instance, I gave up years ago with keeping the boys on track with chores. That was one of those things that was sabotaged every time I set up a system. I finally gave up. Well guess what? My boys are threatening to move out now because I'm making them do what they've been supposed to do for years. It's an interesting process. I've told them that if they are going to live here, they have to live by my rules. I think they know in their guts that they don't want to live with their father and that he doesn't really want them. It's a painful process. I've given in so many times before, they will test me every day. I hope I can keep it up. It's easier to do the chores myself than to make them. I'm a real believer in making kids take responsibility for their home, so... that battle has begun. I am reclaiming some more sanity around here!

Now for some other projects. I wish one project would just go smoothly. Have you noticed that you can spend a whole day doing the simplest thing? I spent half of last Saturday putting a new dryer vent in. It should have taken 15 minutes! But, of course the hole in the wall was so low that the molding on the floor caught the new vent and wouldn't allow it to install properly. Had to get out my saw and cut wood away. Wish I had that power tool! Then there were problems outside because the ground has accumulated too close to the hole. Had to clear part of the yard for proper ventilation and hopefully to keep the critters from coming in. This was the point of the whole project. Have another dead critter in the wall! The second since December! AAAAaaaahhh! Everyone's telling me horror stories about having to spend $4,000 and more to have an exterminator come tear the wall apart! I'm just waiting for the smell to go away. I also drove 60 miles round trip to buy a particular kind of rodent poison. I'm caulking the heck out of this place! Here's hoping this ends the problem! I can't take it!!! I am relieved that it seems to be a mouse this time. It's only smelled bad for a week and is almost better. It's just one thing after another. Why is that?

The Color of Oatmeal

5 people, three dogs, and a cat should not live in a house with oatmeal colored carpet. It's time to tear it out and start over.

Train Ride

It's quiet tonight and I can hear the train from miles away. The horn blares as it travels through the town south of us. I love that sound! Makes me want to jump on the train and go wherever it leads. We had friends take us on a 2 week train ride around the perimeter of the "lower 48." We travelled in a private car, pulled by Amtrak. It was AMAZING!!! We had a private butler/waiter/concierge and a private chef. My almost ex and I used to stand in the vestibule with the half door open so we could feel the wind and smell the air. We're so not fancy! We loved that more than sitting on the dome level with the private butler and chef. In fact, we hung out with the chef down there on his breaks. The dome was nice. You could see a lot further. It was very comfortable. It just didn't have any action. It felt like you were watching the scenery in a movie. Down in the vestibule, you could wave to people, feel the car rock along the tracks, see the speeding objects left behind. Our friends would laugh at us as they sat in the comfy seats and we stood in the wind. Both groups were happy. That was the best vacation ever! We fly fished in Montana. Ate great food in Portland. (Of course we ate great food everywhere because our chef was fantastic!) Went to Santa Monica beach. Partied in San Antonio and New Orleans. Got our window shot at in Oakland! We slept like babies on that moving home. It was fun to open the curtains of our bedroom picture window, lie in bed and watch the world go by! The only problem was that if we fell asleep, we'd wake at a station with people gawking in the window at us! That was embarrassing! There's nothing like a private train car to draw attention!

Now every time I hear a train, I want to go again, but without that husband. My friends travel by train almost everywhere they go. (But not in the private car.) This would be a wonderful time to steal away on a long train ride. I could use a get away.

Chutes and Ladders

Remember Chutes and Ladders? My youngest and I played it tonight. That and Candy Land. We didn't think either of them were as fun as we remembered. It was a bit of nostalgia for the evening and a good time being with my son. Other than that, I prefer some other games. Do you think maybe we're a bit too old for these?

I Had a Dream

I had a dream that he loved me,
that he would always be there for me..............

I had a dream that he loved me,
that he was my partner and together we would grow.
I believed this dream so strongly that I lived for it, worked for it,
I became it,
but then
I woke up.

I had a dream that god loved me,
That god was with me all the time................

I had a dream that god loved me,
That god was leading me on life's path and teaching me.
I believed this dream so strongly that I lived for it, worked for it,
I became it,
but then,
I woke up.

So now what?
I have many friends but still I am more alone than I have ever been.
I have many interests but still I have no idea what to do.
I had a dream...
but then I woke up to find that
I am falling into the abyss.

That 70's Show

Come see... live in my garage! It's That 70's Show. We have become teen central this week! Yea! I love having the kids all hang at our house! My older boys already have a bomb hang out in the master suite. Complete with a futon, couch, computer, stereo, TV and gaming systems. Somehow that wasn't enough. The friends didn't come. Or my boys didn't invite them. Now in our garage, we have a 70's couch: avocado and gold, 7' long and curved; a cheap throw rug; a boy-made coffee table out of a wood crate and two boards that are being totally covered in bored teen art. Lawn chairs and a worn out bar stool complete the look. It's in the 30's out, and still they hang in the uninsulated, unheated garage. Who needs heat? Who needs a stereo or TV? Not these guys! There's a resistance weight machine, a skateboard and a rip stick in case they get restless. Friday night when I left the house there was an extra kid here. My boys were all gone. He was waiting for a ride, lounging on the couch with a game system in the bedroom. When I returned several hours later, there were 6 kids in my garage. I think they have decided not to be intimidated by me. I think they've decided it's safe to be here.
When my boys were young, our house was the fun house to hang out at. But then the "soon to be ex," decided to start complaining about any extra noise and any extra people in the house. He became suspicious of the kids' friends. I guess that's when we lost the status of "hangout." Kids know when they aren't wanted.
I remember when I was a kid, my friends were all intimidated by what my father did. They never wanted to come to my house. Now that I'm in the "family business," I understand how hard it is to get friends to feel comfortable here. In elementary school none of the kids were afraid of me. In Junior High, they start being intimidated. They didn't want to hang out at the _____'s house and they knew that the boys' dad didn't want them here. I guess they are coming back. I am so glad! I like them!